Only Child Rising, Little Sister Moon
You’d never guess, but I am actually an only child. Thank you so much for asking. People never make that assumption about me. You think it explains a lot, huh? It’s so funny that you asked if I have siblings. Everyone always does, but you can tell they think I do. As unbelievable as it is though, it’s true. No siblings, just me. I’m honestly flattered everyone just assumes I have siblings because only children get such a bad rap, right? You’d think we’re so spoiled and self-centered, but, what can I say? I’m just really humble I guess.
No… yeah, I get that a lot… I never asked my parents for a little brother or sister… I had a good thing going! Hahaha!
I certainly don’t identify as an only child. Maybe that’s why people are, like, so surprised to learn that I don’t have brothers and/or sisters. It’s so random but I’ve always felt this like kinship with middle children? I get weirdly intimidated by firstborns. In High School I’d often end up better friends with my friend’s younger siblings. Though, I guess some may say that as an only child I just needed the extra attention. That must be why, LOL.
Is there any way I could have a preference in how I am labeled, or is that just me demanding to be the center of attention again, as per my only child status? The cats in Cats get to choose two out of their three cat names, I’m just saying. Is there some kind of Myers-Briggs test I could take for birth order, and maybe rig in my favor? What if it’s like love languages, and I learn what I am from experience? Maybe it’s more like astrology, and I’m an only child ascendent (rising) but my birth order moon is in little sister.
You were surprised to learn that I’m sib-less, right? Not everybody is, but no only child syndromes here! Seriously, I swear I don’t even like talking about myself that much.
I get that people don’t assume I’m an only child because I so don’t fit that stereotype, but if you saw me with my parents you’d totally get it. It’d be super obvious. Just trust me. One time at a bus station, a woman stopped me and my mom mid-conversation to say “she’s your only daughter, isn’t she” — which was so so funny! Because she was right. We really have had a lot of time to perfect that mother/daughter banter. When I’m with my dad, apparently I give off “child of divorce” vibes. We’d go to coffee shops and end up on the receiving end of a lot of pitying looks, like our chill dynamic must mean we were savoring our time together. Haha, we tricked you! It just means he doesn’t have any other kids to hang with other than me, whomp whomp.
One time I told someone that the closest thing I had to a sibling was I-95, and I stand by that. I spent so much of my childhood on that highway, alone in the backseat of the car as my family drove over the river and through the woods up and down the East Coast from one grandmother’s house to the other. I personally feel like that metaphor checks out, but, as I’ve just revealed to you all, I don’t have any siblings so I don’t know.
I actually really feel like I have great potential for Crazy Aunt Energy, which is so annoying because (since I don’t have siblings) I’d have to marry into that status. I feel like the best Crazy Aunts are unmarried. It’s a real bummer.
Hang on for a second, lemme drop this bit. It’s not funny anymore.
I’m actually not an only child.
No, really. I did grow up without siblings, that’s true, but I’m not an only child. I had a brother who died before I was born; he only lived a few weeks. It was incredibly hard on my parents. Theoretically it should not have had any effect on me; I didn’t even know about him until I was a teenager. Surrounded by adults and my own imagination, I was content. I’ve rarely craved sympathy, and I absolutely don’t want any for this. It did not happen to me.
But I’ve spent a decent amount of time thinking about how different my life would be if I’d gotten to meet my older brother, or keep him. If I could call him right now. It feels strange to say I’ve grieved for someone I didn’t know I had lost, but I think I have a little bit.
As a fan of the television show Lost, I am well familiar with the concept of daddy issues, but do you think it’s possible that when I get like this I have brother issues? This is a real thing I have thought about, as crunchy granola as it sounds: whether, consciously or subconsciously, I am drawn to certain people (in friendships, relax) because they’re filling an older sibling gap.
When people talk about personality traits and birth order, and they sure love to, I do wonder if there are any aspects of that that are determined by nature instead of nurture. Don’t give me an answer — I kind of love the mystery. I like thinking that my brother had some kind of spiritual affect on my life, even though I only know his name.
I don’t love that people compliment me on not being narcissistic when they learn I don’t have siblings, as if I somehow beat the asshole odds. For all intents and purposes I’m an only child, sure, but even if I was my parent’s only child it’s rude whether you say it “explains a lot” about me or claim to be pleasantly surprised. I also don’t love the accusatory edge people get when they’re calling me or my parents out on my only-ism wither, as if it’s our fault. It’s really not. Do you know how little control everybody has over these things?
That said, I also didn’t have any pets growing up. You should absolutely seek my parents out and shame them. It explains a lot.
